I can't help but laugh at some of the things people say. But it is more of a laugh-gasp. I can't say much though because i knew nothing about adoption before we got involved with Abrazo. Gosh, I hope I never said anything as ignorant as that. Now, I try to teach people about the positive aspects of adoption and open adoption.
As for looking like your adoptive parents - I believe that the children pick up the mannerisms from their parents - and therefore they start to look alike, even if their skin or hair is a little different.
A lot of people don't realize that KJ and Benny are adopted even though they are darker than we are. But you know who always does? Hispanic adults. We've had a few people come over and ask if the kids are from Mexico, and ask a lot of questions, etc. I kind of feel like they look at the kids as part of their family, and take an immediate liking to them. (Benny and KJ are both 1/2 hispanic.)
I'm embarrassed to say that I like that the kids kind of "match" each other. But it certainly was not a requirement. I do think it will be nice in school, etc to have someone that looks the same. I think the schools in our district are only 1% each for Hispanic, African American, Asian, and American Indian. But I am hoping that will change as the kids get older!!!!!