How to Give Up a Baby for Adoption
This is how to give up a baby for adoption.
(Hey, that’s not normally how we like to talk about the process of making adoption plans, but if adoption is new to you, we know it may be the information you start searching for?)
For most moms who think about giving a baby up for adoption, it starts with finding out you are pregnant and not knowing what else to do.
You may be so in denial you go for weeks or months without buying a pregnancy test at the dollar store because you’re hoping somehow if you don’t find out for sure it won’t be for real.
(That doesn’t really work, by the way.)
Or you put off going to the doctor or starting prenatal care because you’re hoping if you just ignore the problem, it’ll go away. (Yeah… right. That one’s not effective, either.)
You start wearing bigger clothes to hide your growing belly and you tell others you’re just putting on some extra weight.
You can fool some people some of the time, as they say. But you can’t fool yourself for long. (Not really.)
You might even text or leave a message for the babydaddy or try to run into him or drop some hints to see if he wants to man up and be a part of what’s going on, but if he doesn’t respond or blows you off, then you’re left to deal with the problem all by yourself. (Again.)
Thinking about adoption? That’s being responsible. (Yay, you!)
You know there’s a baby growing inside of you. You know at some point you are going to have to do something about it. You know you could parent, and you know it’s your right to keep the baby if you want to, but there’s so much more you wanted to do, and a baby is going to change everything. You know there are programs out there that help moms (like AFDC and WIC and stuff) but this isn’t just about not being able to afford a kid.
It’s about wanting to become a mom or grow your family when you feel the time is right, and not just because a condom broke or you missed a pill or somebody had his way with you when you had a weak moment.
So kudos to you for having the courage to “do you” and having the conscience to want the very best for your child’s future, too. That’s the best that any parent can do: to take good care of herself and to make sure her child is taken care of, also.
Society may claim that birthmothers who place don’t care about their kids, but nothing could be further from the truth. Adoption is a loving, mature and responsible decision made by caring parents and that is nothing to be ashamed of, if it’s done the right way and for the right reasons.
So you know your reasons, and you know your rights, but what’s next?
The right way to give up a baby for adoption
Let’s shoot straight, here: motherhood is a lifelong responsibility, but pregnancy is a temporary condition, and if you are not ready to be somebody’s mom in every way, then it’s perfectly all right to admit it, and to enable someone else to step in and help get the child’s needs met through adoption.
Adoption means legally allowing another person or persons permanent and full legal rights to take over the responsibilities of serving as your child’s parent(s).
If that’s what you know you need to do, either for a baby you are expecting or for a child already in your care, then here’s how to give up a baby for adoption (or how to make a loving placement plan):
1. Call Abrazo (210-342-5683 or 1-800-454-5683) anytime, or text the word “PLACE” to 210-860-5683. Abrazo is a private, nonprofit agency that’s been licensed by the State of Texas since 1994, so you know you can trust the help we offer.
An Abrazo staff member will contact you promptly and confidentially to talk with you about the adoption process and your preferences and our services. If you are already in the hospital, Abrazo can come meet with you there.
2. Abrazo can either mail, email or bring you a packet of information about your adoption options, your rights and responsibilities and the emotions and support you can expect during the adoption process.
It’s up to you if you want your family or the baby’s father involved in your adoption plan (note: if you are legally-married to the baby’s father, he must be informed of the pending adoption, but it is not your responsibility to get the father to sign papers.)
If you are pregnant, we can also assist you in lining up prenatal care, housing, maternity transportation, counseling and other support services you may need during pregnancy and up to 8 weeks afterwards.
3. Abrazo gives you the option of choosing your child’s future family and getting to know them in advance. You also have the option of keeping in touch afterwards, if you wish.
We’ll respect your wishes, whether you want to pick a family and get acquainted or if you just want the agency to choose a family for your child. It’s your choice, after all.
4. When you go to the hospital to deliver, you let Abrazo know. If you want our adoptive family there with you for the delivery (or afterwards,) that’s your right. You can sign Abrazo’s legal documents to release your child for adoption anytime after the child is 48 hours old, provided you are free of any mind-altering medication, and that decision is permanent and irreversible from the time the papers are signed.
Your child can go right home with the adoptive family of your choice. Your decision is private and confidential, and you don’t need to appear in court. And you can continue to participate in Abrazo’s counseling program afterwards for as long as you choose.
Want to learn more? Visit www.abrazo.org, or contact Abrazo, and let’s turn your need to know how to give up a baby for adoption into a beautiful placement plan that changes your life, your child’s destiny, and an adoptive family’s home, in all the very nicest of ways.