KatieKevsMom

ADOPTION TAX CREDIT NEW (source: The Kiplinger Tax Letter, Vol. 88, No. 1, Jan. 4, 2013) "The adoption credit can be taken on up to $12,770 of costs, a $120 boost. If the credit is more than a filer's tax liability, the excess is not refundable. The full $12,770 credit is available for a special needs adoption, even if it cost less. The credit starts to dry up for filers with AGIs over $191,530 and ends at $231,530. The exclusion for company-paid adoption aid also increases to $12,770."

Smitty -- Are you assuming open adoption means co-parenting or foster care? No, that has not been my experience. Our children's birthparents do not come-n-go in their lives, they are part of their roots -- their beginnings. We teach our children to honor and respect their birthfamilies and to realize that without them, we would not be parents. Our daughter is now 7 and quite able to articulate her feelings. Children have an amazing ability to discern feelings of love and devotion. Other than the Interstate Compact time of waiting for approval to return to our home state, we have never had feelings of "babysitting" someone else's child. As for the cost of adoption -- I view it as a cost for services not unlike the services you would pay if you birthed your child. Unfortunately, insurance companies don't recognize adoption costs, so we have to count on the adoption tax credit to help with the costs. If you are just now considering adoption, how fortunate that you have the บK tax credit -- we adopted our first child when there was no tax credit but realized that those who help bring babies into the world are providing a service that is critical -- therein lies the cost that is necessary. Just my view for what it is worth.

Smitty2002 -- That was the exact question I asked in our first Orientation session in the summer of 1994. Now, as the mother of two through open adoption, I can tell you the bonding was different. With our first child, the bonding was immediate! Partly because I so desperately wanted to be mom. When number 2 child arrived, I was in a much different place emotionally -- busy caretaking a child, caring for a dying parent, and trying to be a part-time worker and full-time wife/mom. Thank goodness for my husband who bonded w/ our son (second child) immediately. It took me about two months before our son and I connected, but I remember that day now. Eventhough the bonding was different with each child, the love is deep and strong.

My husband and I were both in our 40s when we started in adoption. Our daughter was placed w/ us when we were 41; our son (newborn) when we were 45. Yes, I think age can be a hindrance if YOU believe it is . . . it will show in your photos and in your speech when you talk to birthparents. (Just my humble opinion) But, if you are young in thought, actions, and lifestyle, then I don't think age is an issue for many folks. I find that many adoptive parents, however, are not realistic about their physical appearance. Remember, birthparents choose based on a written/visual representation of your lifestyle. For us, it was important that we looked as fit and active as possible. Abrazo does an excellent job of educating you how to select photos and prepare your profiles. While you are deciding, just keep in mind how others (birthparents) may view you. If you keep your options open and are not too limiting, then I think a terrific match between bparents and aparents will happen!

A view from my perch and another "perk" to the Orientation weekend . . . make wonderful new friends. Like me and Dr. Mom, we are alums from the 1997 Tennessee Cousins groups. (NOTE to Dr. Mom, I still giggle how so many non-Tennesseans showed up at that Orientation!) So, go for the gusto. Get ready for baby . . . escape the reality of your day-to-day life . . . get the best adoption education under the sun . . . and make friends that can last a lifetime if you keep in touch. The Forums has been an amazing place for me. I've reunited not only w/ past adoptive parents, but also birthparents I've been able to now over time. It just supports how much you need others to help you parent your cherubs. Loving thoughts to all -- Diane

Texas homestudies are good for 6 months, and after that time, usually an update is all you need to sustain the homestudy. Read all you can about adoption and see if you can locate an adoption support group in your area, those folks offer a lot of help.