JustMe

I am Praying for this family..This is so sad!..

I thought this was beautiful.... I wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new, I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I'll never part. God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart.

Believe it or not, I am being led to some very sick ironies today..of all of the threads I could read to to look for the reminders on here, I keep finding ones like this...I never even go to the adoptive parents pages anymore...R.I.P. Shelley...:'(

Thankfully, I did have the chance awhile ago, to thank Shelley(as weird as that sounds) for being such a great mother to Emily! I had the chance to come to terms with my placement decision, and to come to terms with the fact that I had indeed done the most selfless thing by allowing Shelly and Evan to be Emily's parents. She knew, and I knew it was the hardest and best decision I have ever made, and although Emily may never know it, it was the "right" decision to have made, despite the years of pain it caused! Shelley Loved Emily more than life itself, and had even made me aware of how grateful they were for Emily's adoption, and the ease at which it had happened..Their second adoption was much harder on them on so many levels, and it is nice to know that even through the rough spots in Shelley and my relationship, that she appreciated me too! Keep the prayers going please, these young ladies are at a very tough spot right now, and at an age where Mom is needed more than ever..the young teen years are rough enough without losing a parent! Sending nothing but love and peace of mind to Evan, Emily and Jessica...RIP Shelley Mann...our hearts will be forever heavy with the loss of your smile!

Thank you Elizabeth, that was absolutely beautiful. I am trying to come to terms and make sense of this loss, and am absolutely flabbergasted at the amount of emotions I am feeling..My heart is just plain broken for Evan and Emily and Jessica! I keep just praying for peace and strength for the Mann family! This is one topic I have no-one I can speak to about this. I am just lost right now, and overwhelmed with worry for Emily!

This wasn't part of the plan....Happily ever after was the plan....I know "HE" knows what he is doing, but sorry if I think "He" doesn't always do the right thing!

Why didn't God allow her to finish her journey...don't ever tell me that life is fair....

Please pray for my Birth Daughter "Emily" and her family!..Shelley Mann(Emily's Adoptive Mom) passed away on Thursday, I am in absolute shock and cannot quit crying. May God be with them during this awful time!

Okay Ya'll are gonna laugh when you hear the truth of my story...Obviously I was pregnant...I was actually due to deliver in 2 weeks, and I had finally come to terms with the idea that I could not parent my unborn child at that moment in my life, and my only option was Adoption, although as of that time I had only vaguely heard of open-adoptions, and was petrified of closed, of the not knowing I did it right for my baby..So out comes the phone book...and low and behold if Abrazo was not one of the first numbers..LOL I skipped right over the generic name AAA adoptions etc...Abrazo was the first in my mind(some genious picked a very beautiful and fitting name for an agency, and had the forethought to make sure it was at the beginning of the alphabet!! go figure So to make a long story short, I had fully expected to have to spend all day on the phone making those horrible calls, and speaking with strangers, and telling them I couldn't raise my child..and hearing the attitudes of contempt, but mercifully I was spared, because who should answer the phone but an angel named Elizabeth!!!!and as most of you know Elizabeth, you know the rest was history!!!

Smitty, I found your comment of having a unstable person in the childs life as insulting as it gets....How is it that a bithparent is automatically considered unstable....???....Your ignorance on this topic is capable of hurting many people.......I have met plenty of emotionaly unstable future adoptive parents...which is not to say they don't deserve to parent....If I hadn't been emotionaly stable at the time of giving my baby up, then I would have kept her, which at the moment was not a good option....I am personally no more or less stable as a parent as the next person is....You presume that Mothers only give their children up for the stereotypical reasons....In my case(although I have never mentioned this before)I chose adoption for my fourth child purely and simply because my husband had discovered cocaine, and had spent the previous year of our life snorting everything we had away....Had he not have done that, I would have my precious baby to this day...the only financial issue we had was how to pay for a drug addict, and raise a child right at the same time....that is the only reason we had no money....this was not a choice I was given in life at the time, it was merely my reality, and it sucked...I wanted my baby, but with my husband stealing all of our money I had hidden, our other three children were hard enough to be kept clothed and fed...I knew in my heart that it was wrong to bring another child into this life...#### I didn't even have formula etc....I only wanted a better chance for her than what was available through us at the time.....I did not however give my child up because I was UNSTABLE!!!!...walk a mile in my shoes before you judge so harshly....and realize that for some people life doesn't always deal fairly.....I do not believe open adoption is for everyone, nor is closed either for that matter......honestly, I would be scared to death if you were given a child right now....you have much to learn before you choose adoption...otherwise your bitterness will rub off on your children, and they do not deserve to be victims....... Sorry if I am being to harsh here, but I was offended....Take care all.....K.T.

Lisa2, Just wanted to say that you expressed those sentiments perfectly...Thank you.... Smile all,K.T.

Ok...I am not sure that my opinion is one that you want to hear, But here goes anyway...For me, age didn't really have any impact on me at first...but then it hit me one day that age did have an impact,My A.P.s were in there later 30's, and I worried that they may not be able to keep up with a little one...stamina, as we all know is in great demand with toddlers etc...but my biggest concern was medically with age, we all know that the risk for many life threatening diseases is higher with age...and my true fear stemmed from that(I know that none of us have a guarantee that we will be alive tomorrow) but I didn't want to give my child up,in hopes of offering a better life, and then find out that she had endured the worst kind of pain for a young child, the loss of a parent....in the end, meeting these people face to face gave me the ability to see past age as an issue...That was key to me...I needed to see for myself, and I did, and learned that they probably had more energy than I myself did...LOL...so I guess I am saying that you should maybe expect some to be a little taken aback at your ages(young as you are!)but have faith, because it is an issue that can be rather easily overcome.I hope that my candid response does not discourage you any, have faith and it will all come together.....Smile, K.T.

Gabbi, I just wanted to get online here one more time today, and tell you...you have been in my thoughts and prayers...I keep thinking about you, and your very tough situation...I hope you come back to this site, and some how or someway, find peace for you and your baby....I wanted to re-iterate that I am here for you if you ever need to talk...and I will continue to send good wishes your way...as always, good luck, and smile...K.T.

Gabbi, You are so courageous...way to go girl. Things always have a way of working themselves out, and sometimes the people we least think will understand, are indeed our saviors...I for one, am very proud of you, for looking for the right answers for you and your baby, and for reaching out to your Mom(I know how scarey it is)Keep your chin up...you are on the right path, whatever you may decide. Please feel free to send me a message if you ever need to chat..and that goes for anyone else here too...Good luck Gabbi, You are most definately in my prayers..Smile everyone, K.T.